I'm related to this dude (somehow). http://bunnywax.com/excuses.html Are you surprised? 

I can burn it, because I have like 4 bazillion blank CDs :)

1. I Won’t Be Home for Christmas ;; Blink 182 <--cute opening track due to the occasion
   
2. Play It Loud ;; MxPx <--our advice for everything
   
3. Holiday ;; Green Day <--this is the dawning of the rest of his life
   
4. Breaking the Habit ;; Linkin Park <--we're breaking him away from gospel *shudder*
   
5. Punk Rock 101 ;; Bowling For Soup <--this is basically what we're doing, only less conformistish, because the song's a parody
   
6. Hot Topic is Not Punk Rock ;; MC Lars <--life lesson #1: this is what punk isn't
   
7. Punk Rock Song ;; Bad Religion <--this is what punk is
   
8. Minority ;; Green Day <--so is this
   
9. Fight For Your Right ;; The Beastie Boys <--as is this
   
10. Six Degrees of Kurt Cobain ;; MC Lars <--crash course in God, & also "she married Kurt Cobain/and had a troubled soul" is the best
    
11. Smells Like Teen Spirit ;; Nirvana <--MANDATORY
    
12. Heart-Shaped Box ;; Nirvana <--as is this
    
13. Scar Tissue ;; Red Hot Chili Peppers <--sort of inching into bands by intensity; this is soft, while Lordi is not
    
14. Be My Escape ;; Relient k
15. Awakening ;; Switchfoot
16. Rooftops ;; Lostprophets
17. Next Big Thing ;; 1208
18. Sunflowers ;; Everclear
19. Longview ;; Green Day
20. High School Never Ends ;; Bowling For Soup
21. Mr. Brightside ;; The Killers
22. Kryptonite ;; 3 Doors Down
23. Damn Regret ;; The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
24. This is the End ;; Anti-Flag
25. Devastation and Reform ;; Relient k <--this is instead of Apathetic Way to Be because my version is of Noxious-esque quality
    
26. The Taste of Ink ;; The Used
27. Teenage Dirtbag ;; Wheatus
28. When I’m Gone ;; 3 Doors Down
29. Oh! Gravity ;; Switchfoot <--begin intensity #2 (medium)
    
30. I Wanna Be Sedated ;; The Offspring <--if he's made it this far, he probably will be
    
31. Animal I Have Become ;; Three Days Grace
32. Can’t Repeat ;; The Offspring
33. Fat Lip ;; Sum 41 <--MANDATORY
    
34. Fences ;; Paramore
35. Ruby Soho ;; Rancid
36. Fire and Kerosene ;; Logan Square
37. The Hell Song ;; Sum 41 (this actually has no cursing)
38. Never Too Late ;; Three Days Grace
39. The Hand That Feeds ;; Nine Inch Nails
40. Hard Rock Hallelujah ;; Lordi <--enter intensity #3 (hard), and this is instead of Devil is a Loser, because it doesn't say "bitch" like forty times ^_^
    
41. Scars ;; Papa Roach
42. Side of a Bullet ;; Nickelback
43. Getting Away With Murder ;; Papa Roach <--thought it coming after SoaB was fitting
    
44. We Threw Gasoline on the Fire and Now We Have Stumps for Arms and No Eyebrows ;; NOFX
45. Paralyzer ;; Finger Eleven
46. The Pretender ;; Foo Fighters
47. Blood Red Sandman ;; Lordi
48. Broken ;; 12 Stones
49. THE TYPE OF SONG THAT YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY NOT, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES ALLOWED TO EVER LISTEN TO AND/OR LIKE ;; Simple Plan <--well we have to get the message across somehow XD
    
50. Crayons Can Melt on Us For All I Care ;; Relient k <--more like 3 hours
    

Yeah, I know, there are 50 song. That'll be, like, 3 CDs XD.

Friends of the Opposite Sex:

Names, please?
One:: oliver.
Two:: freddy.
Three:: christian.
Four:: tom.
Five:: alex.
Six:: jd.
Seven:: lance.
Eight:: dan.
Nine:: kris.
Ten:: oreo.

Now for the questions!
One. How long have you known them?: [oliver] since july 13, 2007. i remember this because it was a day before his birthday. sad, i know.
Two. When was the last time you saw this person?: [freddy] today, during sap. the last thing i said to him was "backstreet boys!"
Three. Are they taller then you?: [christian] FUCKYEA. i mean, only by like a foot or so. not all that much.
Four. Ever fought with them?: [tom] nowai! tom is way to sweet to ever disagree with anything.
Five. Can you beat them up?: [alex] uh, no. if i tried, though, it'd end up being some complicated, perverted inside sex joke.
Six. Would you ever marry this person?: [jd] uh, nooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Seven. Have you ever slept in their bed?: [lance] o.o
Eight. Would you ever date this person?: [dan] fuckno.
Nine. How old are they?: [kris] i don't know. he's a sophomore. that's good enough.
Ten. Does this person play any sports?: [oreo] yeahhhhh. he's fucking BEAST at snowboarding.
Is one a good friend?: [oliver] yeahh, EXCEPT WHEN IT COMES TO TEXTING.
Have you hugged two recently?: [freddy] the last time i hugged him was in, like, october. it was not something i want to repeat. like, no offense to freddy, but it was way awkward.
Three does drugs! What's your reaction?: [christian] well, that explains the hypochondriac babies comment.
Four is spreding rumors about you, what do you do?: [tom] he would never! he's way to sweet to ever think of doing that.
Five confesses undying love for you, what's your response?: [alex] "of course, my love, of course!" because it's probably another perverted inside joke >.<
Number six's best feature?: [jd] sexy-face!
The next time you'll see number seven?: [lance] probably tomorrow. after all, i am one of his groupies.
Would you ever date number eight?: [dan] you already asked this. and i repeat: fuckno.
Is nine single?: [kris] probably.
What is number ten's darkest secret?: [oreo] he peed on the carpet last night.
Would you EVER kiss number one?: [oliver] . . . maaaaaybe.
Number two has killed someone. Do you hide and/or help them?: [freddy] yeahh, sure, whatever. but i'd probably be like "dude, go ask all your other friends that live within 3 feet of you."
When was the last time you saw three?: [christian] well, i saw him today at the end of school, but that's because he's six feet tall and has no hair. but the last time i spoke to him was friday.
Can four do back flips?: [tom] i don't know, but i would be EXTREMELY surprised if he suddenly developed wonderful gymnastic talents.
What was your first impression of number five?: [alex] fuck, that dude is tall. and hot. and gay.
Would number six ever hurt you?: [jd] nowai.
One word you'd use to describe seven?: [lance] dark.
Where did you meet number eight?: [dan] in the library on thursday the 25th of september, 2007. yeah, i know, i just remember these things.
FIRST memory that comes to mind with number nine...?: [kris] it's not really a memory, but our joke about how i pay people to hang out with me.
Has ten ever hurt you?: [oreo] yeahh. i have many, many bite marks.
Do you know one's parent's?: [oliver] nopers.
Do you think two is cute?: [freddy] uhhh, no.
How long have you known number three?: [christian] since thursday the 25th of september, 2007. same as dan.
Do you give four hugs?: [tom] yupp. usually after nina, mollie, and mackenzie have molested him.
Five ran away and needs a place to stay. What do you do?: [alex] say "you came all the way across the state to ask me if you could stay with me?"
How tall is number six?: [jd] average height.
Does seven love you?: [lance] err, as much as he loves everyone else, i guess.
Could you see yourself married to number eight?: [dan] uh, fuckno. take the impossibility of us dating and multiply it by 400, and there you go. that's us married.
FIRST memory that comes to mind with number nine?: [kris] you already asked this. duhh.
Would you kiss ten?: [oreo] i do, on a regular basis. he hates it.
How do you greet number one?: [oliver] i don't, not anymore D:
Have you ever been to number two's house? Stayed the night?: [freddy] yes, for a few seconds to see his "babies" (guinea pigs, or hamsters - i forget). and uh, no.
What would you do if three tried to kiss you?: [christian] what do YOU think?
Would you let four stay the night at your place?: [tom] if he needed to.
Can you stand to be with five for an hour?: [alex] YEAHHHHHH. we get along amazingly well. not, like oliver + me amazing or christian + me amazing, but still amazing.
Would you consider number six attractive?: [jd] yeahh. platonically.
Have you ever considered more than just friendship with seven?: [lance] hahahahahahahahahaha.
Have you and eight ever met up someplace?: [dan] yeahh. in the library. for videographer's.
Nine is dating one of your close friends. Your reaction?: [kris] okieee, that's cute. now i don't have to pay that person to hang with me because i don't pay him and so therefore they'll hang with their boyfriend & therefore me. XD
Is number ten more of a leader or a follower?: [oreo] it depends; he's passive-aggressive.

Think about it...
Who gives the BEST hugs?: alexxxx. because my feet leave the floor :D
How have you known the longest?: alex. beating oliver by, like, 4 hours.
Who have you known the shortest?: christian/dan/kris. met 'em on the same day. do i have to tell you what it is AGAIN?
Who do you know the best?: oreo. you don't even want me to go into the stuff we've been through together o.o
Who would you like to know better?: duhhh.
Who is the best looking?: duhhh.
Who makes you the most happy?: duhhh.
Who is the most sarcastic?: er, probably freddy. or kris. or christian. GAWD, why do i have to make all these decisions?!
Who has made you cry?: none of them, 'cause i only cry when i'm frustrated 'cause no one's listening to me. although i suppose that might go for oliver, then. but i haven't.
Who do you want to talk to, right now?: you might think i'd say christian, but i actually wanna talk to oliver, just to sort things out.
Who has made you laugh the hardest?: christian's made me laugh the hardest by far, but alex has made me laugh the most often.
Who have you crushed on, in the past?: three of them. you already know two, & you're gonna have to guess the last one (no, it's NOT freddy, and no, it's NOT alex. because he's gay. even if he won't admit it.)
Who would you marry, if you HAD to choose one?: OREO!
Who do you turn to for distraction?: oreo. duhh. and usually alex because he always has some random perverted comment ready.
Who do you turn to for comfort?: oreo. one glance from him and everything is better.
Who has the most interesting conversation topics?: tie between christian and alex.
Who is the best with people?: oreo. people melt at his [four] feet.
Who has spent the most time at your house?: oreo. because he lives there. but actually, none of these people have been to my house. i usually don't bring people home. go figure.
Who is the most attractive, to you?: duhh.
Who would you just love to kill?: christian, just once. as revenge.
Who gives the best nicknames?: christian: freshman. frosh. froshmore (for next year, because i'll never stop being a freshman to him, apparently)
Who can you see becoming your worst enemy?: oreo . . . but five seconds later he'll be cuddly again.
Who do you want to kiss?: duhhh.
Who are you better friends with?: i'mma have to say oliver. 'cause we're like the same person, only in less scary coincidental ways than me + christian, and in less scary extreme ways than me + mollie.
Who would be the MOST LIKELY to fill out a survey like this one?: i don't know, freddy?

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Everyone has heard Fight For Your Right (Beastie Boys) and everyone has heard Crank Dat Soulja Boy (Soulja Boy, duh). Both fall under the expansive genre of hip-hop, but there's a huge difference in the two. In Fight For Your Right, the Beastie Boys urge teens to reject oppression (albiet on a minor scale) and have some fun with their lives, while the message Crank Dat sends is to go out and make like rabbits.

Hip-hop used to be like punk—it used to be about change. It was about making a difference; it was about being heard. The original spirit is still out there, embodied in organizations like the National Hip Hop Political Convention, where you can "find alerts on hip-hop community issues where your actions can make a difference." But more recently, in an effort not to alienate less socially conscious fans, hip-hop has become less about change and more about butchering the English language.

This is evident in songs like The Way I Are (Timbaland),  Me & U (Cassie), and I Got Me Some Bapes (Soulja Boy), which comes prepackaged with its commercial spawn, the obnoxiously-colored, overpriced bape hoodies. Calling your song The Way I Am is not social suicide—fans will still accept you if you manage to embrace the rules of grammar. As for Me & U, how hard is it to add four extra characters and magically transform your hit single into a song people besides dyslexic kindergarteners can enjoy? There is no hope, however, for a song like I Got Me Some Bapes. Even the music isn't enough to salvage what the title already damaged.

On the other end of the spectrum from omitting letters is spelling them out repeatedly, which is possibly even more annoying. I did pass kindergarten, thanks very much, and not only can I spell tasty (correctly, unlike Fergie), but I can break up the syllables in umbrella without any help. Brilliant, I know. As for songs like Fergalicious, Melissa Sanford tells me, "I bet Fergie won a spelling bee when she was little and she's really proud of it." What a shame she's based her career off of it.

The state of hip-hop today is documented in Heru Ptah's strikingly accurate novel, A Hip-Hop Story. In it, Ptah reveals that while if you're talented enough you might remain obscure enough to do what you want, but as soon as you gain any number of fans it stops being about music and starts being about keeping your following. Hip-hop has deteriorated over the years; in modern times it's less about the message and more about the mainstream.

There's no denying that the second generation iPod shuffle is a tiny, screenless thing. It's almost smaller than the earbuds that connect to it. "It's so small!" said Amy Lamb. "I'd sit on it and break it." However, in Apple's words it's "born to be worn." Yes, I can see the fad—iPod shuffles are the accessory of the future! Right. As for me, I'd rather sport a punk pin than an mp3 player. Music should be heard, not seen.

The shuffle is also advertised as "random meets rhythm." Fancy words, basic function. Even the dinosaur-esque original iPod can shuffle your songs, and I might add that, out of over 400 songs, five Breaking Benjamin songs in a row is hardly random. The last catchphrase? "Everything is easy." Sure, everything is easy when you don't have a screen. Who needs to know what they're listening to, as long as it sounds good? And if it doesn't sound good, well, just suck it up until the next song comes on, because you need a microscope to find the buttons.

The few other qualities it sports are hardly enough to win over the buyer. It holds 240 songs—about half the number I have, which isn't nearly enough to satisfy. The "remixed colors" are disappointing as well: the classic silver, eye-blinding blue, sea foam green, purple-blue, and let's not forget the red one, a blatant advertisement for Gap's (PRODUCT) RED. This is by far the best, because everyone I know wants to be a walking billboard.

As for the ancient first generation shuffle, it hardly deserves a mention, differing from the second gen only in that it looks like a ridiculous cross between a TV remote and a magic wand.

All in all, unless you're blind, much more fashionably challenged than most, and have memorized the titles of your meager collection of 240 songs, your money would be better spent on another form of iPod.

I don’t understand males. I’ve never claimed to. They are a species all their own. However, I’ve never claimed to understand females, so I guess I’m equally ignorant. But at least I can explain some of my fellow females’ actions (usually with “We’re girls. That’s how we are”). Guys? Yeah, no way. A few things I don’t understand:

1. Why can guys piss at will? How is that fair, at all? You’ll never see a bunch of girls get bitchass drunk on St. Patrick’s day, see an umbrella in the middle of the road, and send one of their number out to piss on it as they loudly–and drunkenly–announce to the entire neighborhood, “DUDE! I’m pissing on the fucking umbrella!”

2. What is so appealing about throwing yourself at random walls? Nearly every guy I know has done this. They get bored, and so they find a wall and hurl themselves at it–multiple times, depending on how much entertainment is needed. In Alaska, when we got tired of watching crappy music video after crappy music video and we saw pixellated rocks when we closed our eyes, the girls would get up and watch the guys move all the beanbags and throw themselves against the wall repeatedly. Sometimes we brought in a wheelchair and rammed the person in it into the wall, as a way of spicing things up a bit.

3. Is porn all they ever think about, or is it just the guys I sit near in Biology? I don’t mind joking about that stuff with my guy friends, but in the middle of a test the one thing I do not want to hear whispered is “Three fat, greasy guys and one cup of lard!” It’s not even normal porn, if there is such a thing–it’s disgusting and derogatory–I’m not a feminist, but some stuff is just too far–and they’ve been talking about it since before Thanksgiving. These guys are the type who, when they’re 30, will be living with their moms and cybering with twelve-year-old girls. So I wouldn’t be surprised if not every guy thought about porn twenty-four hours a day . . . but then again, maybe I would.

4. What’s up with the hair-flippy thing?

So in addition to bluffing my way through the clock-reading unit, I skipped social development in elementary school. I was a dork–okay, I was a bigger dork than I am now. Whatever. Anyway, the whole talking-to-guys thing? Yeah, I didn’t do that until the beginning of eighth grade (maybe because all the guys I’ve been around until then were total fucktards). So I’m not as up-to-date on “the cool thing” as everyone else. Do I care? No. My ethics are my ethics, not yours. I think it should be socially acceptable to brutally murder people who piss you off in gruesome, macabre ways involving machetes, boiling water, and things that would make people with weaker stomachs puke. You probably don’t. Fuck you, then.

Anyway, I’ve been noticing lately that relationships have gone from something completely sacred–and, to be honest, uptight and prude–to a total joke. A happy median? Screw that. My cousin is a perfect example. You’ve all heard me bitch about her again and again and again, so I won’t go over it this time. But quite honestly, when I like someone, I can’t just change my mind about it one day. If I can, I never really liked them in the first place. I don’t understand how it is that people are changing their minds about who they like–and, furthermore, why they think anyone cares.

I do like to know what’s going on with my friends–that’s why they’re my friends. But what I don’t care about is a slew of communication about how they like this person and now they like this person and now they like this person again but oh, dammit, they have a boyfriend.

That doesn’t mean they’re sexually mature–really, it doesn’t. I’m much more mature than they are in that regard, and we all know I have the maturity level of a five-year-old (I mean, come on. I laugh every time Laura says “poop on a stick”). Do you really want to go out with someone, knowing that at any given moment they could decide that they don’t really like you anymore?

On the same topic, you can’t just date someone because they’re hot. That’s not a crush–that’s physical attraction. Yeah, it does help if the person you like is cute, but that shouldn’t be the only deciding factor. If you can’t find something wrong with the statement ‘So what if he says he’s a stoner and a boozer? He’s hot!’ then you and I need to have a long talk. Like, longer than this entry.

. . . but my English teacher went nuts over it. I don't know why. Anyway, I want some feedback from other people, so here it is. Don't worry, it's not an essay - it's fanfiction, of a sort. It's for A Tale of Two Cities. Butstill.

On the bright side, I know all the words.